he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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