dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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