I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
