so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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