So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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