I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
