you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
