All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
