It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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