There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
