We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
pray to the hookup gods
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
