no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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