he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
