shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
My penis needs a shock collar
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
