Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
