What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
