I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
