I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
