My hand turned me down
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
