Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
