You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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