1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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