Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
