I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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