yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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