pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
