Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
