dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
the liver wants what the liver wants
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Randomize
