yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
