I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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