Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
