he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
