Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
