This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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