C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
