I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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