Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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