it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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