I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
