I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
