fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
