Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
