What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
