I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
