So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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