So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I think a kid would responsible me up
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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