This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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