WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
