and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You're a waste of cheezeits
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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