I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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