So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
